JVLaB

Take A Ride in a Capitol Elevator w/ Rep. Jerry Lewis (R-CA), JVLaB & a “Stack of ‘Playboys’”

SCENE: (Elevator in the Capitol, or maybe Longworth, or Rayburn, HOB. Sometime in the late 1990’s. Pre-9/11, anyhoo. JVLaB carrying box of superfluous policy docs post-event.)

Elevator door opens. Enter the Honorable Gentleman from Redlands, Calif., and aide.

Fmr. Lifeguard and U.S. Rep. Jerry Lewis (R-CA) (Arching his signature bushy eyebrow, knowingly, à la “you know, just us guys here in the elevator…”): Whaddya got in those boxes, there? “Playboys?”

JVLaB (Khaki-clad; short, still-fullish head of hair. Thinking: Here’s a Member of Congress as Captive Audience…and an Approps Cardinal, to boot! Plug the .org’s publication!): No, no. Just the Concord Coalition’s annual (I forget the title; some clunky prose-laden budget wonk screed.)!

Rep. Lewis: Oh, good, because I thought they might be a stack of “Playboys.” (Winks, knowingly.)

Female Lewis Staffer (Exasperated): Oh, Jerry…

Rep. Lewis: (Self-satisfied chuckle that says, “Just the reaction I wanted!” “You know, just us guys here in the elevator…” stare still trained on JVLaB)

JVLaB: Would you like a copy for your Budget LA?

Rep. Lewis: Gotta go!

Door opens, Lewis & Co., exeunt.